


A Beautiful Day

by pleaseletmetouchyourbutt



Series: So Many Beautiful Days [1]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-12-03 20:24:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/702296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleaseletmetouchyourbutt/pseuds/pleaseletmetouchyourbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor pays a visit to Rose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sunset

Rose was beautiful, as always. She barely looked as though she had really aged since he last saw her, since he watched her begin her life with his double, his carbon copy. He wanted nothing more than to throw aside the people in between them and wrap her up in his arms, to bury his face in her hair and tell her that he was back and that he wanted her to come with him again. That he had missed her so much and couldn't live another day without her. That he loved her. But, he didn't. He didn't because he didn't want to ruin their beautiful, lovely, shining day. He didn't want to flip their lives upside down. 

They were walking, Rose and the man who was him but wasn't at the same time. She had her hand in his and every now and then she would laugh or drop her head onto his shoulder. The slowly setting sun cast orange light all around them. It lit up her hair and offered a darkened silhouette for him to stare at. Something for him to focus on as he moved silently through the crowd, a mere five feet behind her. He swore he could almost smell her hair, could feel her hand enveloped in his, could hear her laugh and see that smile. 

He could reach out. He could tap her on the shoulder. He could do so many things to make her notice him, to make her see that he was there. A seemingly endless number of things. His Rose. His beautiful, strong, golden ray of sunlight. Standing so close he could feel his hearts singing. Could hear his brain screaming: what are you doing? She's right there! Grab her! You won't be able to watch her walk away again. You'll go mad. 

But then his phone was buzzing in his pocket and he knew that when he answered Donna would be on the other line. Donna who was lovely and so much more than a temp and his best friend. Donna who was not the woman standing in front of him. Regardless, he slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out the small vibrating rectangle and held it to his ear.

“Doctor?” She said as he answered, “I think I've got something. Meet me back at the TARDIS?”

“Yes,” He answered, “Of course. I'll see you in a few minutes.” He hung up without waiting for her answer and slowly moved out of the crowd, to the line of buildings that surrounded the town square. 

He felt dread, sharp and painful, coiled in his stomach. He dreaded going back to the TARDIS. Why? It was his home, why would he dread it? Was it because there were mementos of her everywhere? Was it because his pillow, his bed, his room, they all still smelled of her? After all this time? Perhaps it was simply because her laughter would never bounce down the hall to wake him up. Maybe it was because he knew that she would never, ever set foot in his home again. She would never bake cookies in the kitchen or force him into watching odd human TV shows on their “off days”.

Then, he knew. It was because the universe dictated that it should be one way. A certain way. The Doctor and Rose Tyler. In the TARDIS. The oldest laws in the universe proclaimed it, demanded it, stated it. And yet, the world had decided to switch course. Instead, it decided to tell the man who could go anywhere and do anything that he could never hold Rose Tyler again. That he could never, ever tell the woman he loved that she was important and special. 

With that thought, he turned, tearing his eyes from her almost ethereal form, and heading for his home. His empty, echoing home.


	2. Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 11 sees his Rose

Rose was like an angel, a beautiful driving force and as he watched her something came over him, something he couldn't bear to feel. Beside him, Clara nudged his arm with her own and when he looked down at her he received a quizzical look.

“You know her?” Clara asked softly, “Doctor?”

The Doctor ignored her, turning back to stare at Rose climb from the small, makeshift TARDIS the half-human version of himself had surely constructed. She looked up, over the crest of the hill, and her eyes landed on him for a mere half-second. His hearts tightened to the point of pain and a small, wounded noise broke free from his throat.

“I loved her,” The Doctor said finally, as Rose looked away to watch his double climb out after her, “I loved her with everything I had. I still do. I will love others,” At that Clara slid her hand into his and he smirked, “But she will always hold one of my hearts.”

“She's the special one,” Clara nodded in understanding, “Aren't you going to say hello?”

“No,” The Doctor shook his head, “I couldn't do that to her.”

“I'm sure she misses you too,” Clara said, as if it was the simplest thing in world, “She'd love to see you.”

“Not yet,” The Doctor insisted, “Soon.”

“Do you think she'll like the bow-tie?” Clara asked, “You told me once that you change your face sometimes.”

The Doctor nodded down at the two of them, holding hands and laughing as they tore across the grass, “That is what I used to be. Who I used to be. Before I looked twelve and wore a bow-tie.” He smiled again, “I didn't get her, but he did and she got me. She'll always have me. The version of me she loves.”

“That just proves that you love her,” Clara whispered, “The fact that you won't step in and ruin her happiness. You love her enough to let her love him.”

“Yes, I suppose that's true.”


End file.
